I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
