i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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