there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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