don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
