yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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