what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just had sex on a roof
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
