Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
