Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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