sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize