Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
