There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
