YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
