dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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