I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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