Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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