I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
