are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
