its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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