I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
