these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
