then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She bit a glass in half.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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