Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
