Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
