This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
