we have officially lost it.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize