Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
