Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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