quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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