I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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