I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize