Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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