i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
