It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
