hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize