honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
