dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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