you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
