so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
