I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
