I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
