I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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