Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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