I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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