I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
