Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
