Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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