so explain again why im purple
no
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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