That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
