But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
