Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
