I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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