I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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