reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
