i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
