and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
