I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YAS. BRING CRAB.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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