I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize