2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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