HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
