And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
