walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize