so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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