This girl is more easily done than said...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
