ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize