I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't make out with my wife yet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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