Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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