Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
