I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
