I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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